When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
