I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
