I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
This girl is more easily done than said...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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