so explain again why im purple
no
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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