yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woke up backwards on a recliner
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
