He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
