u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
