His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
