That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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