Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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