I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
