Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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