glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize