You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
bring money and cleavage
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
