I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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