I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My vagina just recognized that song.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize