i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
