the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
