everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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