I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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