Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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