just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
