I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
