Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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