youre lurking in front of me
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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