so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
