To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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