she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
