fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
