She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
