There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
