Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
