was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
