she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize