Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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