One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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