I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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