Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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