Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
