So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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