Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
