Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
