He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
