Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
