If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize