so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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