i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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