So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
