I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
