you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
