I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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