you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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