There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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