This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
