okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize