You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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