Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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