Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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