Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
a search helicopter?!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
