I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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