got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
