so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
