He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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