he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize