i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
