They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
