their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
