dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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