I hate your face
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
