Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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