I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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