come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
