thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
